and I am one nervous nelly!
Here I am, 46 years old, wondering why in the world I am going back to school AGAIN... determined to finish that RN degree....
I'm scared. Scared that my brain is too mushy to remember my name, much less details of various disease processes, and the medications that can help or are detrimental at any given point.
Scared that my brain won't process the dosage calc that I do on almost a daily basis at work, that I'll freeze up when the instructor asks me a question. Or maybe that I'll contaminate my sterile field during a dressing change.....
What if I am TOO different than the other people in my class? What if I am the oldest and the only Grandma? What if I am the only one who bakes my own bread and sews clothes and worse yet... what if I am the only one that ENJOYS it?????
What if no one likes me because I am different? Because I wear my hair in a bun and wear blue jean jumpers 98% of the time?
All these questions and more infect the mind of a 46 year old homestead wanna-be Grandma.... and I am grown.
How many times these questions or ones nearly like them make our children nervous with changes they have to undergo in their lives? But yet we say... "Oh, you'll be alright." And for the most part, they are, as I will be. But it doesn't take away the gut wrenching fear that grips us before the inevitable happening before us.
Tonight, I will pray to my Lord and ask for peace, and I know He will give it to me. For right now, whether I am 46 or just 6, going to school scares the dickens out of me, and I need some comforting that only Jesus can provide....
My husband thought all of the same things when he went back to school. He graduated from college in 1992 with a degree in English, but really worked as an engineer. In 2006 he went back to school for an engineering degree. He was old enough to be the father of some of the instructors who were teaching him. He thought he would be "the weird one" that no one would want to talk with. It has been the total OPPOSITE. Everyone notices him at first, and most are interested to talk. Then when they find he is kind and funny, they begin to realize they can ask him for advice, they can study with him, etc. I would say he is having more fun in his current classes - which are much harder and require more effort than his college English classes - than he did when he was "school age." PLUS - he's not the only "middle-aged" person in his classes. There are other students too.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful, sunny first day of school! And I hope you enjoy being "the experienced one."
I am sure you will do fine, my husband went back to school after 34 years to re train for a new job, it was 2 long years of classes and home work but he graduated at the top of his class. Best of luck!
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